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Get to Know the Disadvantages of Live-in Relationships

by Rajesh Gotan

The practices that were considered as “taboo” are now being adopted by our modern society – Live-in relationships are rapidly being adopted by the urban world.   

Putting Live-in relationships simply- it’s an experimentation phase when two people share their life with each other to assess compatibility before getting into a committed relationship.

If everything goes well in this phase, you do not find each other annoying and make each other feel happy, then you have passed the test. 

However, it is big dilemma and a debatable topic whether live-in relationships are right or not -some find it as a solution to many problems and some do not accept it!

While we leave the verdict on you, let’s understand some of the most prominently visible disadvantages of a Live-in relationship.

    Low Acceptance by Society

    The trend of Live-in relationships is growing in India – particularly in the metropolitan cities.  However, our society is yet to accept it open-heartedly. It is considered as a taboo particularly by elderly people – by them, the people in Live in relationships are seen as rebellions. Unlike married couples, people in Live-in relationships face criticism and are often harassed for their individual choice.

    In India, there are already divisions in name of religion, gender, caste, economic status, such a society is anyways expected to have harsh and judgemental view of Live-in relationships.

      Weak Bondage Permitting Easy Exit

      The lack of commitment between the couple is one of the biggest disadvantages of the Live-in relationships. A marriage does not break up on small things – couple and their families try to reconcile the differences to save the relationship. However, in Live-in relationships, small annoyance, fights, disagreement, financial issues, or a mismatch of values can witness either partner to get out of the relationship.  In a Live-in relationship, there is no legal, social or financial binding therefore the exit door is always open for the couples.

      Live-in RelationshipMajor Sufferers are Women

      Due to the biological, emotional and social construct, women are at receiving end if the live-in relationship falls apart – they suffer the most. In the male dominated society, women who have been into a Live-in relationship find it very difficult to find a spouse – in the patriarchal rules and norms, women are judged more than men.   Also, women loose time faster due to their bio-logical clock ticking away.

          Impact on Kids

          The children who are born in a Live-in relationship hugely impacted. They are likely to develop into people who will walk their own path without respecting any rules or norms in their lives. In the event if their parents separate, they develop mistrust in them – they may lose one of their parents in the process, mostly it is the father as father cannot legally custodian rights. It is the mother who decides upon the claim of the father.

          Most importantly, the child who is in custody of mother has no legal right to claim his or her father’s inheritance as their parent’s relationship has no legal binding.

          I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart for so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can be together all the time.”
          A.A. Milne, from Winnie-the-Pooh

          Lack of Seriousness of Life Goals

          Once you get used to the comfort without major obligation of children and family, you may not work hard. You may not set and strive to achieve Life Goals. While you enjoy the present, the future is bound to come. When you see yourself behind in career progression and other spheres of life, it is little too late to catch up.

          Lack of Depth of a Marriage 

          Live-in relationships provide easy way out. They do not have the depth and tightly woven bondages as you have in marriage.

          The couples tend to delay the marriage as they enjoy their personal and financial freedom.  Marriage brings a lot of responsibilities in form of social obligations – “the addiction of freedom is not easy to lose”

          Lack of Support of Family and Friends

          This freedom may be fine in the short run, but the life is long. In Live-in relationships, there is a lack of support from friends and families. It causes the couple a lot of mental agonies and sometime it is the reason for the downfall of the relationship, in such a stage, there is no strong binding that may prevent a break up. We are social animals and with family and friends, the life becomes far more enriching and fulfilling and we tend to pick such a life to avoid loneliness.

          The above are the major disadvantages of Live-in relationship.

          But this is just one side of the coin and there are always two sides of it.

          In the free and evolving society, one is free to choose the side of the coin. 

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