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How to Know if Your Spouse is Cheating ?

by Rajesh Gotan

The Napkin lying on the back seat of the car with the lipstick marks, smell of a new fragrance on his shirt and long hair strand on his coat. These are visible signs of husband cheating on his wife that we see in movies and soap operas.

Most of the extramarital affairs are not intentional. Rather they start subtly and innocently. Initial it just looks like a harmless attraction towards the other person but un-knowingly one walks into the sphere of extra marital affair and it is often too late to withdraw.

There are some common and revealing signs that surface out of an extramarital affair. Let’s shed some light on them.

Increased Consciousness of Physical Appearance

Cheating spouse in Extramarital affairs suddenly start paying attention to the way they look. They start picking new clothes, getting a new hair style, excessive use of personal-care products or hitting a gym. They just start behaving like a teenager who has just fallen in love.

Over-possessiveness of Mobile Phone and Lap top    

The partners who cheat keep their mobile phone to themselves. They keep changing the password, clear browser history and delete the texts and chats. They fear that their spouse may stumble upon a text, email or phone call from the third party.

Over-Work Excuses

Cheating spouse needs to meet the third party after office hours and they will site reasons of over-work like new projects coming in, pressure to meet targets or dinner meetings with clients.  

Hiding Information and Being Mysterious

Not a loyal partner is a untrustworthy human being

Cheating partners tend to lie, become very secretive about the people they meet and their daily work schedule due to the fear of getting caught. They also display unusual behaviour liking locking the room to take long calls or going out without telling the reason. They change their perfumes and discard the clothes which used to be their favourite in the past.

Sudden Adoption to New Hobbies

Some pick up Golf and some theatres. There is a sudden entry of new hobbies in lives of cheating partners which keeps them away from home and their spouse which actually seems like deliberate exclusion of the partner, which may be a red flag.    

Attitude Change

Cheating Partners may display mood swings. They may become short tempered, irritable, and criticizing. They may also become cold and distant.

Increase in Expenses

Unexplained bills of hotels, restaurants or spas and unknown gifts like watch, jewellery or garments are potential signs of an affair. 

Avoidance of Intimacy with Spouse

Cheating Partners have higher sexual interest with the third party or they may be suffering guilt or not wanting to cheat the third party. This leads to avoidance of sex with the spouse.

 “Secret and Lies Kill Relationships. No Matter How careful you are, You will get caught.”
Author Unknown

Increasingly uncontactable

To some extend it is reasonable for people to be unreachable due to work meetings or when they are involved in a focused task. But for married couples it is unexplainable to be frequently out of touch and reach. In today’s world, it takes few seconds to text.

Stopping Posts About Spouse and Children on Social Platforms

Cheating Partners may fear that the third party may get upset after seeing the family pictures and updates. Fearing this, they may stop posting about family over social media.

 If you are suspicious, do not jump the gun. Confirm the facts first. Even when you find that your spouse if having an affair, do not be rash and raise your voice. Know that it is a very delicate matter which needs to be handled delicately with maturity.

Extramarital affairs do not develop all of a sudden, they happen generally when there is marital dissatisfaction such as lack of sexual compatibility, openness, varied interests and hobbies, different ambitions or anything else.

At this point, the couples should be open to sharing and listening. If required, seek the help of a marriage counsellor, which will help have deeper conversations that may come as an aid for reconciliation.

The serious advice is – Never act in haste. Take your time and take a very well thought of call considering all the factors.

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