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How to Create a Great Bond with Your Teenage Son

by Rajesh Gotan

Due to this imposed attribute by the society, teenage boys repress themselves and do not let their actual-self come out. We need to understand that they also need care. While raising a teenage son, we need patience, empathy and compassion. It’s very challenging as the behaviour of teenage boys is quite tough to navigate in comparison to the girls who mostly communicate what they are feeling.

“Boys always are considered to be stronger than girls!”- Society Says

In today’s age, teenage boys are experiencing feeling of loneliness, depression and anxiety much more than ever due to increased competition, nuclear families and neglect. In such a situation, they tend to withdraw and may choose a wrong company, indulge in substance abuse, reckless driving, and unprotected sex and become individuals we never want them to be.

Various research studies have suggested that the behaviour of aggression or withdrawal in teenage boys is due to resentment, anxiety, anger, insecurities and the hormonal changes they undergo.

It is also seen the parents play one of the vital roles in shaping up a teenage son. Teenage boys may show recklessness, spontaneity and un-disciplinary actions, Parents must adopt a behaviour and approach to create a good bond with the teenage boys to ensure they take right path to become responsible citizens and lead a happy and fulfilling life.

It is a special bond that a father and a son shares

Below are Some Tips for Parents to Build Bonding with the Teenage Boys.

    • Don’t Disgrace and Humiliate

    Irrespective of the age, your child may be 7 years old or even 18 years old. He is still your child. Making annoying mistakes is a part of their growing up. It is your responsibility to make sure that he walks a right path. Understand the gravity of mistake in the given situation.  Never resort to humiliation and belittle him.  Make him understand by having candid, open and heart-to-heart talk. Do not punish. Your words of counselling and directions can have far better impact and punishment may make him rebellious and disrespectful.  

      • Handhold Him During Emotional Ups and Downs

      He may feel insecure, stupid, dump or falling behind the race. Let him know that he is growing up and emotions are a part of life. Teenage son view things differently and he wants to be ahead in every field. Tell him that failing and succeeding is a part of life. This process will continue for ever with everyone. It will assure him that he is not alone and relieve him of the pressure.

        • Don’t Quarrel and Nag

        Quarrels and nagging can be very annoying, irritating. In order to vent out, parents resort to this when they get fed up due to antics.  They create troubles and nothing else. Your boy may start feeling resentful, irritated and angry. The whole purpose of nagging is defeated as the boy turns a blind ear to what you say – he wants to escape the situation as quickly as possible. Build control on your emotional impulses that trigger you to get into nagging. At an appropriate time, sit with you boy and explain to him what action was incorrect and why. He will absorb your feedback much better.

        “Being a father is the single greatest feeling on Earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.”
        Ryan Reynolds

          • Seed His Mind with Positive Things

          Tell him stories of the great people – he may pick up his own hero and start to follow the same path displaying similar behaviour in life. Get him the inspiration books. Keep him updated about the good things that are happening in the world. Identify his areas of strength and encourage him to strengthen those skills by learning from experts.

          Above all, tell him how humility, solidarity and compassion are important for humanity.

          As he matures into an adult, he will always appreciate you for directing him to the right path.

            • Allow Him to Engage with His Friends

            In teenage, half of the world is filled with friends. Never stop your boy from engaging with his friends. Instead, ask about his them and wherever you get an opportunity, talk nicely to his friends. With friends, he will develop social skills. As he grows, some will leave him and some will stay forever – he will start to understand relationships and life better. If you stop him from meeting his friends, he will feel his significant part is lost as it’s a major part of his life. If you find him overindulging, which impacts his progression, you can always talk to him politely and counsel them. 

            • Communicate with Patience

            Be calm and patient with communicating with your boy. Give active listening to him and do not cut him short, give him time to process things and respond. Talk sweet and short with him. If you over speak, your boy may withdraw himself from the conversation. Avoid eye to eye contact with may make him conscious. If you adopt such mechanism of interaction, he will be at ease with you and will be encouraged to share things with you.

              • Accept Him in Totality

              Everyone is different.  Your boy has his own strengths and weaknesses – “Never judge a fish by its ability to fly”. Make sure you help and support him identify his strength areas and help him develop them.

              Also, boy may be introvert, shy, extrovert, talkative – accept him the way he is. Each human is unique the way our finger prints are. Once you accept him, he will feel very comfortable with you as he does not have to stretch to become what he is not.  

              • Show Affection

              Call him with with Lovely-Dovely nick names – he may feel embarrassed, but he will feel nice. Cuddle & Play. Tell him how good you feel when you are in his company. He will feel loved and cared.

              The above tips will help you create a great bond with your teenage son. Once the bond is established, you create good bonding as a friend than a parent making the communication become much smoother and useful.

              Enjoy parenting your boy and all the best!

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